There was hard knocking on the door, pounding and screaming. The couple yelled, will be out in a minute. When they left, the security at the restaurant was screaming. As they left the restaurant, they were greeted with 9 police officers on motor bikes and in police cars.

Several hours earlier, the young couple had meet another couple for a night out. The other couple had been drinking, but they hadn’t and the club they had gone to had a special music night that wasn’t up to the normal excitement. He said to her that he was hungry, about 1:30 am and let’s get some food. Let’s say until this point the night was rather unemotional and boring.

Walking into the restaurant they ordered some food and he said, let’s wash our hands. So they both started walking up the stairs holding hands and he said, “I’m going to [beep] you in the bathroom.”

And so it continued until the security in the restaurant interrupted them as I started sharing at the start.

As the police were threatening arrest and he solved the situation after a bit of time, one of the officers in charge casually remarked how it was a great idea to keep excitement in the relationship and that they should do it again. He continued talking about how it was such a good idea.

Let’s get to the 5 hacks to apply this couple’s adventure to make your relationship even better:

Hack #1: Be even more spontaneous.

It doesn’t have to be the same thing, but allow yourself to think and do with little time between. She will love you for it. For example, he hadn’t planned this, but in the moment he was walking up the stairs he thought of it and said it.

Hack #2: Do things with adrenaline together.

Get her and your blood pumping, emotions racing and more. For example, bungee jumping, paragliding, scary movies, roller coasters, dancing in a club on the bar, or anything else.

Hack #3: Learn fantasies of women in general.

Nancy Friday, Audible, Amazon and the list goes on. Understand the full range of fantasies from roses, wine, and holding her hand to much more creative ones. The more you can accept these as normal and positive the better.

Hack #4: Talk about fantasies.

For example, you can talk about what you read, get your partner’s opinion on them indirectly. Depending on the openness, you can share which you thought were great. Look in her eyes, and when you see her eyes dilate or open wider, she is likely interested even if her words may be contrary. Understand social pressure to “appear” one way. What you are focusing on is what she truly deeply wants.

Hack #5: Allow yourself to plan or spontaneously do one or more fantasies.

An easy way to start is to talk about it. For example, that which is imagined vibrantly is akin to that what is experienced in real life. Then based on your comfort level you can start to incorporate more and more in “real life.”


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