I need to develop some patience — immediately.
How to be patient for beginners.
Before we get started with the techniques, I’d like to share a story with you. Once upon a time there lived a man. He was very impatient. With situations, he wanted things now and if they didn’t happen yesterday, he would feel stressed. Actually at points, his health was affected as stress isn’t very good for one’s well being. Waiting in line of traffic was truly a stressful event. With people, he was rather impatient with regards to how people act or did not act. He was often frustrated or disappointed in others. When the inevitable life events would vary from day to day, he would often feel a sense of tension and stress. As a result, he was often tired and not as happy as he could be.
He was intelligent and read many books, learned buddhist teachings, studied the Dalai Lama, but nothing created lasting change until he started doing a couple things that anyone can do.
By doing just a few simple things consistently, this individual went to being incredibly more patient in all situations. He also went on to share what he learned and help people all around the world to increase their equanimity, joy, and patience.
You may already have realized who that person is. He is me. And I’m excited to share with you what has worked so well for me (and for students worldwide who apply the methods).
When we talk about how to be patient, typically this is most in reference to a) things we desire happening, b) other people not doing what we “want”, and/or c) having delays from our “timeline” of when things should be happening.
The “secret” sauce on how to be patient:
1) Prioritize with free time. When I prioritize my day with the absolute most important things first and allow for extra time, I find that the things that require more time are fine. Expect the unexpected and you’ll have much greater patience for it.
2) Adopt the mindset of process, not destination. The more we focus on enjoying the process instead of only when we get a certain result, the happier and more patient we will be. Akin to the parable of the tortoise and the hare, slow and steady with enjoyment every moment often wins over fast, stressed and inconsistent. And since we can only live in the gift of the present, we must choose to remain here as much as possible. The past is just neural connections and chemicals giving us a semblance of what is no longer. The future is imagination. The more we place our attention on now and ask, “What is incredible about right now,” the greater our patience, joy, and happiness will expand.
3) Breathe. 5 breaths in and 5 breaths out, 5 times.
4) Adopt the mindset that success is doing the best we can, not on approval or outcome.
As soon as I made the decision to consider myself 100% successful and feel those wonderful endorphins we feel when we get congratulations when I do my best, everything changed. I no longer was stressed if others didn’t do what I had hoped for. I ask myself, “Eric, did you do your best based on all going on?” I answer yes, smile, and continue with patience.
5) Increase your personal flexibility. I used to have certain habits. When I did them and everything aligned so that I could continue doing them, I would be relaxed. However, if anything changed, I would feel tense and impatient with myself and others. To solve this, I started making small changes. For example, I would go to the gym at a different time. I would eat something a little different. I would go to a different restaurant. And I would make sure that I combined what I was doing with something positive. For example, after going to the gym at a different time, I would get my favorite green smoothie afterwards. As a result, in a seemingly effortless manner, I became very flexible to when and how I do things. This personal flexibility then translated to others where my patience expanded incredibly.
6) Understand the paradox of manifestation. We manifest that which we believe when accompanied by inspired action. This means that by being impatient, we are telling the universe that we don’t deserve what we want. That will continuously keep it in front of you. The moment we believe we have what we desire, we relax. We feel great. And that’s when it comes into our life when accompanied by inspired action the fastest. Inspired action is doing the best we can each day while listening and being open to ideas to improve from the infinite energy in the universe and/or other people. If this is a new concept for you, test it out yourself for 90 days. I guarantee you will never go back after seeing and experiencing the results in your life.
7) Identify a mission that includes positively impacting others. Your greater mission can perfectly benefit yourself and those close to you as well as make the world a better place. The more I connect with my greater mission of positively affecting all people, the better I can lead the companies I do. And when there are inevitable delays, I can easily flow to sharing my great energy with people around me waiting too, do my best to share my best attempts at humor to make them smile and as appropriate greet them and look them in the left eye. Whatever your mission is now, it’s perfect. As time goes, you’ll evolve it as I continue to evolve it with the same guideline of a foundational benefit for people in the world. There is no accident why the richest people in the world, Bill Gates, Warren Buffett and others have created the giving pledge. Giving and contributing to make the world a better place is what brings the greatest fulfillment. And when you feel more and more fulfilled, impatience is drastically reduced or eliminated.
8) Understand versus judge. Someone told me yesterday that it is hard to be around or be patient with negative people. I shared that my belief is that a person who is negative is saying they need more energy of self-love and acceptance; therefore, we can send them more energy of love which will help them naturally be more positive. Applying this concept to all situations where people don’t do what one expects, ask yourself, “What do they need?” And send them that energy or visualize it being sent from the universe.
I hope you have enjoyed and benefited from these tips on how to be patient.
Light and love,