Problem Solving: When Difficult Times Or Life’s Everyday Issues Arise, Do These 7 Steps.
Are you looking for help with problem solving, techniques, or skills for every day issues? You may be experiencing a challenge, a heartbreak, a setback or all of the aforementioned. You may be feeling lonely, depressed, down, lethargic and that things just don’t work out as you want.
I’ve been there.
After trying numerous methods, problem solving techniques, and systems, I have a solution that works time and time again for problem solving.
Step 1: Recognize
First, recognize what is going on.
E.g. each of us will react to life’s challenges in different ways and have another way of reacting to the need for problem solving.
One person may get angry, upset, and uptight. Another may drink more or seek other avenues to get into a better state. Someone else may become more reclusive, e.g. avoiding other people.
Others may even overreact to little things other do or do not do.
With some quick introspection, look beyond the surface and identify that the root cause is that there is a challenge or issue that needs to be solved.
For example, John got upset at his partner and threw a plate at dinner across the table, tossing the food in the air and the plate shattered on the floor. On a superficial level, it appeared that his partner had said something that he didn’t like. Going deeper, he recognized that he was frustrated about an issue that had arisen in his work and truly had nothing to do with his partner.
This first step at problem solving to recognize is essential.
Step 2: Connect With Love
I recognize that at the lowest points in our life, we may feel unloved. While technically, we are more open to new things and as a result when we look back, we realize the lowest points are when we grew the most, at the moment it sucks.
If we feel unloved, alone, and separate from everything, the thought can come to mind, “Why continue?”, “Is it even worth it to go on?”, or even “I’m not worthwhile.”
I’ve been there. And trust me, you can get through it.
You are loved. You are part of the infinite love in the universe.
And you have a unique gift to share with the world.
This challenge you are having is the universe’s way of helping you grow so you can help even more people.
Repeat after me, “I am part of infinite love and I can get through what is happening. Things are going to be better than ever. I love myself and I am loved.”
Step 3: Identify What You Most Desire
Identify how you would most like whatever is happening to resolve itself.
For example, Sally identified that after her heartbreaking breakup, she wanted to be in a loving relationship with a man who had specific qualities, most important, who made her feel loved on the deepest levels.
John, after his business failure identified a specific amount of income and fame for himself.
When my back was hurting so much that I couldn’t sit or sleep, I identified by a specific date to be training Muay Thai again and feeling great afterwards.
When I was resolving a high six figure tax issue that a horrible CPA had created that had serious potential consequences, I desired to have it all solved and completely resolved by a specific date.
Whatever the issue is, identify how you most desire it to be solved. Ideally, add a date by which it will be solved and state your desire in the present. Write it down.
Step 4: Make Your State Even More Positive
I’ve been there. I’ve had incredible hardships and felt like doing absolutely nothing. I’ve felt sick. I’ve had major financial issues, business issues, big risks, threats and more.
The number one most important thing to do is improve one’s state to the best of one’s ability. By doing any or all of the following, your state will improve.
And I know it’s not easy. Now, while in a great state, writing this, it’s much easier than when I’ve been at the lowest moments of my life. However, when at the lowest moments of my life, I experienced a significant improvement in my state and was able to get out of it so much faster by doing these.
- If doing anything requiring your attention, complete it.
- Go to a place that is quiet, ideally in nature where you feel very comfortable.
- Relax from your head to your feet, even deeper now. Allow a wave of relaxation to flow from your head to your feet and your feet to your head to relax you even deeper.
- Give thanks for everything in your life regardless of size.
- Send great energy to others.
- Visualize what you most desire already realized. Expand to focus on the solution already realized to the issue happening. E.g. see exactly how you would like whatever it was to go.
- Connect even more with the positive feelings you have when you have accomplished what you desire.
- Affirm the reality you want. E.g. “Things are going better and better.” “I feel happier and happier.”
By doing the above steps, pat yourself on the back. Well done!
Step 5: Get Clear On What Needs To Be Solved
Now, identify what the issue is that needs to be solved.
- Is the issue based on your expectations?
- Is the issue based on a misunderstanding?
- Is the issue based on something just needing solving?
If the issue is based on your expectations, then ask yourself how you could reduce, change, or eliminate the expectations.
For example, Sally had an expectation that her date would take her to the nicest restaurant in town, dressing elegantly on a Saturday night. When he was going to take her to a more casual restaurant, she became upset and what could have been an incredible night was much less so. By changing the expectation to one more aligned with what she wanted, e.g. “to have a wonderful meal with great connection, laughing and feeling more and more intimacy,” she could solve this in the future and be much happier. E.g. to focus on what she truly wanted.
If the issue was a misunderstanding, affirm that each person has a positive intention. And give additional clarity and guidance to help solve.
If the issue was based on something just needing solving, then let’s continue to solve.
Step 6: Identify Solutions
Just like going to the gym to build a stronger body, one starts with a certain weight and over time as their strength builds, they increase it.
The same holds true with your solution muscles.
Here you will ask, “What is a positive solution to solve the issue and make my life even more fantastic in the future?”
For example, one of my companies was referring clients to another company. However this other company was billing people referred and not doing the work. I realized this after they had billed over $1 million dollars. The sh*t was soon to hit the fan and these clients would come back to me asking why I had referred them. The stress was incredible and initially I was blocked by worry and scared of losing everything. However, by doing the above steps, and asking this question, an answer came to mind: provide the services the other company was not providing. I did that and now have a growing company that provided some free services to take care of clients the other company had not done and then for new clients.
Jason sat alone on his birthday, with only his parents and one other person wishing him a happy birthday. He did have many people to do things with but he was very specific about the qualities he wanted. He started feeling the sadness creeping in and stopped it in its tracks by doing the aforementioned steps. He also identified the expectation that on one’s birthday many people have to celebrate with him and adjusted it to being a day like all others where he could contribute to others even more. He also identified that for the next year exactly what he desired for his birthday. Finally, he identified and decided to do more for other people’s birthdays as what one gives with no expectations of receiving, one naturally finds coming back to oneself.
I had hurt my back doing martial arts and could not sit nor sleep. I was taking pain killers above the suggested doses. I followed the above steps and identified that I could search for exercises / stretches to help solve the issue. I did the first step, and it lead me to the next and next and now I am training Muay Thai again with a fantastic professional fighter in Brazil.
Step 7: Just Do It!
Maybe your first step is to recharge. Excellent! There is NetFlix binging, ice cream, or something else that you like. Do it!
Once you recharge and do the aforementioned steps, do something toward solving the issue. Ask yourself if it’s making you feel better and bringing you in the right direction.
If so, great, keep on doing it!
If not, adjust.
Keep in mind that to go from San Francisco to New York, an airplane makes thousands to millions of tiny micro-adjustments. Adjusting is part of the process!
To your success,