A pessimist’s blood type is always B-negative.
When we talk about how to have confidence and power in dealing with people, we are referring to a person who is demonstrating qualities of self belief and self assurance in their actions and that they will turn out as desired. When a person walks into a room, there is a radiance about them that flows naturally. People are naturally attracted to them as if by a magical force.
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In my life, I handled many of the other aspects of confidence: underlying energy of self belief, feeling great from a source beyond what others or circumstances, would say or do, body language, vocal tone, eye contact, and more.
One of the final aspects that I learned to develop is that of leading. I think of it as the final 1% for many people because one can do everything right and if they miss this, they don’t get the results they want. They do it and they open themselves up for the biggest win.
For example, an individual sees someone they would like to meet. The individual looks great, smells great, knows what to say, has self-belief, is self-assured, but doesn’t take action. As the saying goes, the only shot you’re guaranteed to miss is the one not taken. One young woman when talking about confidence with me told me that just by approaching her the guy had demonstrated he was confident.
Why do so many people look to others to lead them? It may be because of evolutionary conditioning where expulsion from the group could mean death. Or it could be from faulty parenting telling young kids (us) growing up to not take risks and that the world is a dangerous place. Or that we’re not good enough. Or maybe it was the educational system telling us that we needed to look to others for approval. Regardless, let’s acknowledge that the old way of thinking is not benefiting us nor allowing us to give all the incredible gifts we desire to the world and change things now.
I was told, and I did my best to push through taking action based on the idea of the 10,000 repetition approach. While this has been touted as the way to “mastery,” there are some challenges with it. At least for me, by taking action initially, often things didn’t work out. This caused me to create negative reference experiences. This made it even harder to take action.
The great news is that like one’s biceps, it is a muscle and we can develop it.
What I did to change things are the following:
1. In reference to the joke I started with, adopt the mindset that the world is a positive place and that things will go great. And even if things don’t go as initially intended, you will learn. What you learn will benefit you and help you positively impact even more people. Win, win all the time.
2. Get more information and knowledge on the topic of what you desire to take action on. More knowledge does help build confidence.
3. Have others who will hold you accountable to take action. Make sure they also have the mindset of abundance and are happy for your success as if it were their own.
4. I started giving myself 3 seconds to take action on new ideas. I saw someone I wanted to meet. I would count 3 , 2 ,1 and say something. This helped a lot and is very easy and simple to do.
5. I practiced taking action in small things. Instead of letting someone else choose what I eat, I would chose. Instead of following someone else to where to sit in the restaurant, if I liked another location I would say so. It is important to be able to discern when it’s important to lead and when it’s fine to let others.
6. I adopted the mindset that doing my best and taking action is success. I would even reward myself doing things I like or expanding the positive emotions related to what I was doing. For example, I start a new business and I do the best I can. It makes $0 in sales. I feel good because I did the best I could. Or another day it makes $987 in sales. I feel good because I did the best I could. The more I adopted the mindset of best action over results, the easier and easier it is to take action.
7. I practiced and developed the intention to benefit other people. I go out at night. My focus is on sharing great energy with people instead of getting things from someone else. I keep my greater authentic mission of making a positive impact in peoples’ lives in front of me and let my conversations and actions flow from this place. An old person is entering elevator, I start a conversation and smile. I make a joke to make people smile and laugh. I do my best to send great energy to others. The less I am wanting anything from anyone and instead have my feeling great from doing my best to positively impact others, the easier it is to take action.
8. I rewired my subconscious brain to take action. Studies demonstrate that what is vividly imagined is akin to actually having the experience. The “secret” is that the greater positive emotion when our mind is calm, the faster we can reprogram ourselves to act in the way we are vividly imaging. We can relax completely. Give thanks. Visualize taking action in the ways you most desire. See them in as many details as possible. Now expand the positive sensations you have more and more. Now balance your energy with chakra alignment. By doing this for just 7 days consistently, or even better 30 or 60, I found that I would take action in the ways that I vividly imagined. And the greater positive emotion I associated to the point where I already felt that this was who I was in all aspects, the faster it happened.
If this article on how to have confidence and power in dealing with people was beneficial to you, please share it and comment below. Together we can positively impact even more people.
To your success,
Eric
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