Mindsets to fill with forgiveness for yourself
Today, you will learn how to forgive yourself that have been extremely effective for me and those who apply them.
First, fantastic energy, joy, happiness, light, love, and forgiveness for you.
According to Merriam-Webster, forgiveness means “to cease to feel resentment against,” “to give up resentment,” or to “learn to forget.”
So today, we will cease feeling resentment against ourselves and learn to forget. I’ll cover some mindset concepts as well as walk you through a guided meditation that I do daily.
Why should we forgive
A study in Hope College concluded, “The results powerfully showed that forgiveness was associated with a healthier profile of emotional and physiological reactions, compared to unforgiveness. During the unforgiveness periods, participants reported feeling more negative, aroused, angry and sad, and less in control. In contrast, when asked to try to be forgiving, participants reported feeling more empathy and did report feeling more forgiveness.”
Hopkins Medicine’s Karen Swartz, M.D., director of the Mood Disorders Adult Consultation Clinic at The Johns Hopkins Hospital. Chronic anger puts you into a fight-or-flight mode, which results in numerous changes in heart rate, blood pressure and immune response. Those changes, then, increase the risk of depression, heart disease and diabetes, among other conditions. Forgiveness, however, calms stress levels, leading to improved health.”
In SagePub, “a correlation was found between high stress levels and more health problems. But the study also indicated that in cases where people showed forgiveness–of both themselves and others–the connection between stress and mental illness practically disappeared.”
When we forgive ourselves, we can also live even more fully in the moment, enjoy the incredible present, connect with people even better, give, share, make an even more positive impact in the world and truly live the fantastic life we are meant to. It all starts when we learn and practice what I’ll share on how to forgive yourself.
Quick self evaluation
Since my intention today is to help you feel even better and forgive yourself by 5% or 10% or ideally make a massive positive impact, let’s identify where we are today. From 1 to 10, 10 being a lot, how much do you find yourself remembering the negative things from the past where they taint the full enjoyment of the present?
Let’s address the BS (belief systems) for how to forgive oneself
Why don’t we forgive ourselves? The more we understand the why, I think the easier it is to solve.
One potential hypothesis is that we have a natural inclination toward negative information as part of our innate survival mechanism. Acknowledging that the intention is to live longer and more fully, we can focus on the lesson learned from whatever happened instead of the negative emotion (which can damage our health and degrade our well-being).
Some people have the belief system that certain things are bad and that they have tainted oneself forever. Others think that such and such cannot be forgiven. Maybe they even associate a label such as “failure” with whatever they did or said. Since one’s belief system is all BS anyways, why choose one that is going to cause you health problems? Why not choose that whatever we did in the past helped us be even better today to have a greater life for ourselves and even more positively impact others?
Others think that forgiveness is a weakness. It actually takes a more emotionally mature person to forgive. Therefore, by doing so, you are demonstrating that you are a stronger and more evolved person.
Sometimes, the emotion of what happened is so impactful that it is really hard to get whatever happened out of one’s mind. Maybe someone said something, rejected you, treated you bad, did something that completely violated your trust or something else. We are programmed to remember emotional experiences; e.g. can you remember your first kiss vs. what you had for lunch 2 weeks ago. Likely one happened a lot longer ago yet you remember it much better. The key here is to develop emotional control where you can consciously expand your positive emotions. I’ll guide you on how I do that momentarily.
Maybe you have another reason; write it in the comments. I’d love to hear it and then help you dissolve it so that you can completely forgive yourself and feel happier and healthier than ever before!
How to forgive yourself: mindset
Some simple mindset shifts that have helped me forgive myself (and students throughout the world):
- Everything happens for a positive reason. I truly believe that if something doesn’t go as I initially imagined, it means that something even better will happen. Or, if I say or do something that doesn’t result in the intended way, I take a note of it to learn from it and do even better next time. Even better can mean for me personally, those around me, or teach me something that can help make an even more positive impact in the world.
- Our past is past. Sometimes something really incredible happens. Sometimes it doesn’t rank as so incredible. I consciously practice keeping my awareness mostly on the moment. I ask myself and bring my attention to what is fantastic right now: the flowers on the table in front of me, the clean air around me, the ability to write and share with you, the seated bike I’m using as I write, and many more things. By practicing not focusing for more than a few moments on things that were incredible in the past equally to things that were not as I had initially hoped, I develop the skill of being even more present. Since I’m not focusing on negative things, I don’t even need to forgive myself in most cases.
- Asking ourselves or others for forgiveness is a manly (or womanly) thing to do. To error is human. If we slip and say or do something that makes another feel bad or results in a negative way, asking others for forgiveness can help us forgive ourselves.
- Law of attraction works. Acknowledge that what we focus on, think about, visualize, and put in inspired action toward, will manifest itself in our life. This means that if we focus on something we did or said in the past, not forgiving ourself, we will get more of what we don’t want. If we choose to focus instead on the wonderful present and images as well as positive feelings of what we desire, we will get more of that. Want rotten apples or your favorite meal?
- Rewire your brain. We have certain neural pathways in our brain and body. The more we use them, the more they become our natural way of doing things. In our central nervous system, myelin sheaths form where there is continual communication, to aid the speed of communication between cells. This means that the more we don’t forgive ourselves, the more this becomes our way of being (and the negative health and life consequences). We can accelerate this mental rewiring by doing the guided meditation I will share.
The more we relax, feel great, and see ourselves exactly as we want while we expand our positive feelings associated with it, the faster this becomes our reality. Akin to my example of one’s first kiss versus what we had for lunch a couple of weeks ago, emotion, not time is the important factor. As such, by seeing ourselves having forgiven ourselves completely, feeling the positive emotions we associate with doing such, and then expanding these emotions to a greater and greater intensity, this can become our new reality even faster.
I do this first thing every morning on my VitaliZEN PEMF Mat for all areas of my life and I can just say that with consistency this makes an absolutely incredible positive impact in my life.
Guided meditation for how to forgive oneself
Relax yourself from head to toes, even more completely, as you breathe in and out even deeper now.
Give thanks for all things regardless of their perceived size. Give thanks for things that went as you initially intended and things that taught you lessons. Expand the feeling of gratitude you have in your body. Continue for as long as you have things coming to your mind or you sense you can connect even more with gratitude.
Send great energy to others. All people. Can be light radiating from yourself or from the heavens. White light represents infinite positivity and love. You are simultaneously forgiving anyone as well as empowering them.
See yourself already accomplishing everything you desire. Expand this visualization to include how you are peaceful, serene, present, and experiencing all things in the moment fully. The past has completely ceased to be something that affects negatively your present. The lessons from the past you are happy for and allow you to live an even more full present. And the great things from the past you are grateful for. Continuing seeing yourself in more and more detail doing, having, and accomplishing all the things you most desire. Anything is possible.
Now, your self-love expands more and more as you fill with a greater and greater white infinite light from the expansive energy around you. Allow the positive feelings of joy, presence, self-love, self-worth, acceptance, forgiveness and all else you most feel now to grow more and more.
You may even identify a color that represents that positive emotions you are feeling in your body. Then, allow yourself to expand it as it vibrates along with your favorite inspiring music throughout your entire body as the positive emotions grows more and more too.
Step into the scene you see in front of you and see everything through your own eyes. The music gets louder, the positive feelings even more and more intense. Expand more and more as you continue to drink in the wonderful sensations.
Count from 3 to 1 and as we reach one, you bring this empowered state and complete self-forgiveness into each and every moment of every day.
3, 2. 1. Congratulations.
Light, love, and forgiveness,